I was just reading someone else’s blog, and a thought came to me: I think, often, I tend to be just ‘dabbling at the edges’ of many things. Interested, listening to other people talk, perhaps trying to have a go. But not really a part myself, not properly. Or at least I do not feel like I do. It is part of feeling like an outsider in a group, but perhaps slightly more than that, or perhaps a cause? Hmm. I wonder whether this is a common feeling, and whether it reflects reality.
Quick examples that come to mind: Often in social settings, even just over a meal or whatever, I spend most of my time listening to other people’s conversations, perhaps moving between different conversations, without finding much to add (or much opportunity to do so). I observe a bit of a tendency in myself to join and try lots of things a bit, but not really fully commit to them (though, on the other hand, I can also get a bit obsessive about things once I start getting into them, at least for a while until the next thing comes along). On a recent small project at work I found myself mostly running around between people, helping out with little bits and pieces, rather than really sinking my teeth into a substantial part of the project.
I wonder whether this is a new development. I do think that my attention span has shortened and ability to concentrate deeply has significantly decreased in the last few years. Does anybody have any observations to share, either of me, generally, or personally?